she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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