is your mom at the bar?
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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