He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
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