i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
You need a sexual gate keeper
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Randomize
