you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
He's on the porch naked. Help.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
