I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
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