now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
