He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Randomize
