I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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