If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
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