**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Yo dont text me then not text me
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Randomize
