You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
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