You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
