i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Little spoons don't ask big questions
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
