Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
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