google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
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