My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
That accounts for only three of the penises
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize