I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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