this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
