If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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