guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
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