I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
