How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
