Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize