I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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