there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
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