I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
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