I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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