Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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