You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
i wish my penis had a tongue
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
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