I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
