Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize
