In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Randomize
