Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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