I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
