I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
