Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
