found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
My Higher Power is John Stamos
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Randomize
