Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
