I wannas sexs uuuuu
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
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