That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
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