I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Randomize
