i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
