Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Randomize
