I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize