what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
