i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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