do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
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