Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(732): View more from New Jersey

It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you

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(515): View more from Iowa

just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.

Fav 37 1431 5375
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(978): View more from Massachusetts

Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.

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(228): View more from Mississippi

There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars

Fav 4 3450 1133
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(519): View more from Ontario

Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?

Fav 14 3169 1233
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(561): View more from Florida

She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.

Fav 5 2620 1238
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(561): View more from Florida

She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.

Fav 3 2022 899
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(506): View more from New Brunswick

I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar

Fav 1 159 103
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(810): View more from Michigan

You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."

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