Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Randomize
