why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
