hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize