Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
