Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
