Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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