Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
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