Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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