she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
