I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I touched a dick in church today
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
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