whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
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