he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
