69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize