she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
