Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
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