Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
