New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
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