we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
