i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
That accounts for only three of the penises
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Randomize
