I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
